More-ness

A term Rob Bell used in a recent sermon caught my attention.  Moros.  Reverend Bell defined it as a kind of foolish talk- scorning somebody for their heart and character.  It caught my attention because I have observed this very thing happening a lot lately.  From a variety of sources and in equally varied settings.

On a recent mission trip: "This community development thing doesn't even seem Christian."

At a discussion forum for our church's mission program: "Who gets the credit for the work you are trying to do?  God doesn't get the credit if you do it this way."

Following a confirmation retreat: "The reason we are doing this is because we are 'right.'  We have the only right way to God and that is important."

At a men's group meeting:  "It has to be about Christ.  Not the church.  How do we know if what we are doing is for Christ and not just something that we like doing?"

I have been extremely fortunate--blessed--to be a part of a group of guys who are doing something that I don't know I have been a part of before.  We are taking the time to hear one another and to share.  To learn and to appreciate.  We are looking to join together and discover a purpose and to become a community.  

We are looking to move from Moros to More-ness.  There is something more.  There is something more to what we are doing.  There is something more to life.  There is something more to church.  There is something more to Christ.

We still have an occasional eye roll or a slow head shake.  But what I'm hearing is: "This time I didn't flip my off switch to 'off' when he started talking about _________."  "Now that I understand his story I understand what he means when he says ______________."

The Greek God Moros is defined on Wikipedia as the personification of impending doom who drives every being, mortal or otherwise, to its fated doom.  He is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent.  Maybe that's why I have been seeing so much moros-ness lately.

There is even a story in Matthew's Gospel under the section (chapters 8-10) regarded as the "mission of the church" where the Pharisee's accused Jesus of casting out devils through the prince of the devils.  (Matthew 9:34).  Even when God was himself fulfilling his own mission, he didn't get the credit for it from everyone.

WWJD? According to verse 35: he "went about".  We'll keep doing the same.  We'll keep looking for more.

Champagne in the parking lot

I came across an empty champagne bottle in the island of a parking lot this morning.  I was trying to reconstruct the celebration it represented.

1.  Assume a champagne bottle indicates some sort of celebration.

2.  It must have been impromptu or covert as it took place in a parking lot beside a Krystal Restaurant.

3.  Sometimes, covert or impromptu celebrations are the best, most heartfelt.

4.  The bottle wasn't smashed, so that indicates some level of restraint.

5.  No glasses were with it.  Did they drink straight from the bottle?

6.  It was more than one person, right?

7.  It was a parking lot, some somebody was driving.  Did they take part or did they celebrate without drinking?

8. Did they retrieve the cork and save for posterity?  Was this celebration just for it's own sake and didn't have any meaning moving forward?

9.  Why leave the bottle on the ground?  No matter what kind of celebration- good/bad, deserved/capricious, fulfilling/cheap, wholesome/shady, in community/alone, or otherwise: leaving the bottle behind cheapens it.

How do we celebrate and how do we do it in a way that lets others know it's whole and authentic?  Don't leave empty bottles behind.

Giving and Offering

I remember hearing that male role models are fairly rare in the church in Peru.  On our recent trip there, I wanted to see if I could involve some of the men in participating in a Bible school we help put on in Chimbote.  I found a gentleman kind of hanging out at the back of the make shift room where we were holding the Bible school.  Through nonverbal communication, I got him to help hand out coloring pages and markers.  He really had a good time and was quite proud to help contribute.  Towards the end of the session the head honcho asked me to hand out cookies as the children departed.  "Give them two cookies--no more--because we might not have enough."  I found my new found friend to help hand them out.  I was first told not to give him any cookies because they were just for the children.  I finally explained that I wasn't giving them to him, but that he was helping hand them out.  

What was interesting was: I was handing out the cookies.  I was in control.  I made sure nobody got too many or more than their share.  My Peruvian partner, though, took a different tack.  Rather than hand out the cookies, he offered the cookies.  Nobody seemed to take more than two and he sure seemed to have more joy in his offering than I had in my handing out.

I wonder about all the joy all around in the poverty stricken areas of Peru where we worked.  I got a clue into maybe why as I was handing out the cookies.  

There is more joy in offering than in handing out.

Changing the Label

Heinz Ketchup is changing the label it puts on its ketchup bottles.  There is concern that people are not making the connection that ketchup comes from tomatoes, so out with the gherkin pickle (it's a long story) and in with a tomato on the vine.  The idea is to tap into the desire of people to eat more wholesome, natural foods.  There will also be a new tag-line: "Grown not Made."  I'm interested in rebranding because like ketchup, ministry sometimes loses touch with what it's supposed to represent.  So: what to do when people lose sight of what you are doing in ministry?  Rebrand it.  Call it something else, so people won't be turned off by it.  The question is: What else do you have to change besides the brand or the label.

Back to the ketchup.  What will Heinz do differently now that it has changed the label?  More natural wholesome tomatoes?  Somehow help farmers who are doing a better job growing and caring for tomatoes?  What about the poor gherkin farmers and producers who they are leaving behind.  And the people who prefer to have their ketchup made not grown, the people who are realistic about the fact that ketchup does not grow on trees?  And what about all the people who dedicate their lives to making the ketchup.  Is this a slight to them?

And to ministry.  What do we have to change when we start calling a ministry something else? Are we committed to changing the ministry and the lives it touches?  Or just what we call it?

Unmade beds a problem?

For years we battled the problem of the kid who wouldn't make up her bed:

1.  Keep the door closed.

2.  Make up your bed.

3.  Make up your bed or else.

4.  I mean it this time, make up your bed.

5.  I'll just do it.

An then out of the blue, the bed is made up everyday.  "She's making up her bed everyday", my wife tells me  "Why I ask." "Because", my wife says, "she loves her room."

Women it seems like to rearrange rooms.  Redecorate, redo.  Knock out a wall if possible.  My reaction usually is "Didn't you just redo the room?"

I've come to realize though, there are advantages to this room makeover thing.  By allowing our daughter a space that is hers she behaved better.  By participating with her in the planning, designing, thinking about, and implementing, we were able to let go of worrying about the bed getting made up.

I wonder what other areas of life would this this kind of approach be worthwhile?

A colleague mentioned that when he asked a group of middle high boys (notorious for not really participating in such activities) to talk about the person they were in 2008 and the person they would like to be in 2009, they were extremely interested in participating.

Maybe it has something to do with taking an interest in the interests of our children.

And what they would like to do about it.

Coffee and Communion

I was met with kindness and grace upon arriving late to my connection through coffee making session last Sunday.  I learned how to make coffee with the industrial Binford 2ooo coffee machine and where it all goes and how people talk to and connect with the "coffee man", and I learned about the dangers of saving a few cents by adding a few fresh grounds to the base of grounds from the last batch and running it again.  (High risk, reward- this can lead to the machine backing up and overflowing).  After a great time of visiting with and helping out my coffee making partner, I headed into 9:00 a.m. Worship.  I was supposed to help serve Communion, so I sought a seat up front.  Wouldn't you know it, there was my coffee making partner, so I sat next to him.  When the minister called for those helping with Communion to come forward: coincidence, my coffee making partner got up also, and we served Communion together.  For the second time that day.

I remember a quote I took to heart from Mother Teresa.  "As soon as we receive Jesus in Holy Communion, let us go in haste to give him to our sisters, to our poor, to the sick, to the dying, to the lepers, to the unwanted, and the unloved.  By this we make Jesus present in the world today."

Here's to Communion.  And to coffee.

How Did You Know That You Were a Man?

Lars and the Real Girl is a quirky little movie that is worthwhile from a community building perspective.  There is one scene of interest to people interested in developing a community of men who seek to grow in the way of Christ.  Two brothers, Lars and Gus in a conversation about what it means to be a man.

The younger of the two, Lars is interested in knowing when you become a man.  Was it the sex?  He asks his brother as if this "right of passage" would spell manhood for him.  Gus is thrown off and kind of says yeah and kind of says no.  Finally Gus is able to put it into words.  "Well, it's not like you're one thing or the other, okay?  There's still a kid inside but you grow up when you decide to do right, okay, and not what's right for you, what's right for everybody, even when it hurts."  When Lars asks for an example, Gus continues.  "Like you know, like you don't jerk people around, you know, and you don't cheat on your woman, and you take care of your family, you know, and you admit when you're wrong, or you try to anyways.  That's all I can think of, you know - it sounds like it's easy and for some reason it's not."

It's not easy is it?  To do the right thing for everybody even when it hurts.  It takes most everything we have and then it seems we come up short sometimes.  So tell me: How'd you know?  That you were a man?

I'm still learning.  I still look to you to show me what it means.  An elderly neighbor might be able to drive to the hospital just fine when he has to follow the ambulance with his wife in it. No one will probably notice if I don't go see a coworker's father who is in hospice.  The young man interning with my company might be just as well off doing busy work as spending time with me doing learning what it is that I really do and belief and hope for.  Without you how would I know?