Relationships are good for you

I’ve recently been contemplating what makes people happy in life. I’ve gone through phases where I was certain that work was the source of happiness.

In light of the recent downturn I’ve come to the realization that my job is much too fragile and vulnerable to economic whims to allow it such status in my life. I enjoy my work and it does bring happiness on occasion – but its volatile and will turn on you from time to time. Where can I invest some energy and expect a better return on investment in terms of happiness?

I started reading a book called “The Happiness Hypothesis” by Jonathan Haidt and was intrigued to hear about studies done by Emile Durkheim. He studied the factors that affect the suicide rate. He found that the number of “social commitments” one has plays a big part in the equation. Turns out that people who have fewer social constraints, bonds, and obligations are more likely to kill themselves. Durkheim’s study goes on to say:

“The more weakened the groups to which [a man] belongs, the less he depends on them, the more he consequently depends only on himself and recognizes no other rules of conduct than what are founded on his private interests.” (as cited in Haidt, 2006, p. 133)

Further studies since have confirmed Durkheim’s diagnosis. "Having strong social relationships strengthens the immune system, extends life (more than does quitting smoking), speeds recovery from surgery, and reduces the risks of depression and anxiety disorders.” (Haidt, 2006, p. 133).

I’m somewhat of an introvert. Always have been. According to these (pretty convincing) studies, sounds like this could be bad for my health. In fact this book has convinced me that we should go out of our way to intertwine with others, make obligations, and commit ourselves. All these things have been shown in studies to be beneficial to our health. We need the commitments and constraints that naturally arise from ongoing participation in a community.
From the book:

“people … leave homes, jobs, cities, and marriages in search of personal and professional fulfillment, thereby breaking the relationships athat were probably their best hope for such fulfillment.” (Haidt, 2006, p. 133)

The next time you consider whether to plant yourself into a tightly knit community and risk exposing yourself to deep relationships – DO IT! It may save your life!

Reference List:
Haidt, J. (2006). The Happiness Hypothesis (p. 133). New York, NY. Basic Books.